There are digital images…

Nathan is suited up for the long journey!

Matthew braves the wind and frigid temps to collect the wind data.

JonMarc joins Matthew as they brave the elements.

Cabin fever and distractions send me to "the office" while Matthew goes for a check up on his injured hand.

Pictorial memories of the week – my two oldest sons and a few friends decided to trek through the snow about 5 miles to a friend’s house – north and uphill – translated… more snow and more adventure! Nathan accepted the challenge to don the raccoon hat and goggles. Fortunately, the first few days graced us with blankets of snow with nothing more than an occasional gentle breeze.

Then true winter arrived in the form of our ritual Nor’easter. The boys gave me a weather station for Christmas, but only part of it had been installed. The winds hit without being able to measure them, so out goes Matthew to install the wind gauge and JonMarc went to help. So we were able to witness the data, 20+mph sustained and 35+mph gusts which gave us windchill temps that stayed around -15° for about 36 hours. BRRRRR!!!

I love my boys and I love having them around, but there comes a time when a mama needs some peace and quiet. So I hitched a ride into my “other office” so I could concentrate. Thank you, Woods Coffee!

Visual records to trigger wonderful memories of a special week in the lives of the residents (actual and honorary) of the Funny Farm.

And there are mental images…
…which can only be transmitted through words and gestures and emotions.

I offered the guys a ride home from their trek and they took me up on it. So, out I went in the snow to “find” them. It may have been bitter cold out, but my heart was warmed when I saw my boys tromping along the road watching for my arrival to whisk them home. They didn’t really need me to do it, but they were thankful for the respite from their journeying. My house was once again filled with laughter, howls of boys being boys, and great memory makers. We have shared many meals together this week, more than usual, and I am reminded these days will all too soon come to an end.

And then there are the love images…
…those images that are imprinted on my heart and embedded in my spirit. Images of my kids laughing hysterically, the faces of friendship and camaraderie, the conversations that have spurred thought and commitment to one another and to the Lord. These are the images that remind me of their growth, our growth, of uncertainty that leads to exploration into the deeper truths of life and faith and hope.

Change is inevitable. Our memories are what help guide the direction and responses we will choose as obstacles and crossroads arise. Images, wherever they are stored, help us access these memories and the emotions attached.

The real question then is this, Are we invested in being present to how we store these things up in our hearts, just as Mary did with her precious Son, Jesus?

My heart is alight with anticipation, uncertain of what the days ahead will reveal and yet so very certain of the One Who loves to reveal Himself in the unfolding of my days. 

This first day of the new year began with words of prophecy being spoken over me, words which confirmed the Presence of the Lord in the midst of my doubts and my insecurities. It was as if the person speaking had been walking with me throughout my home the past 2 weeks listening in on my silent conversations with myself and with God as I struggled with the all the changes in my life and in my family in the face of multiple transitions and heartbreaks, especially over the past three years.

Once again my Abba Father reminded me that He is the One Who sees me for who He created me to be and accepts me and loves me just the way I am. His promises are true even when I fail; He is faithful even when I am faith-less.

I am His. 

And that makes all the difference in how I experience life. I am continually being invited to spend every moment in His Presence, for by the blood of Christ and His completed redeeming sacrifice, I am found IN Him by no merit of my own, no work of my own doing.

Amazing grace!

I hope you, too, know the wonder of walking in His grace and being renewed by His fresh revelations morning by morning. God loves you so very much; He desires your fellowship. He has provided everything needed for you to sit with Him in the heavenlies and live life as He designed it to be lived.

Blessings to you, my friend, as you venture into this new year. I would love to hear from you about your adventures along the way.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,800 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Interesting…
…the “C” set pressed in on me with a crushing sense of oppression and lostness,
while the “O” set is opening up a greater sense of clarity and hope.

Not so long ago, a friend of mine shared that for many years she has been given a focus word for each year. She had quite the collection of words, representing areas of opportunities, challenges, and growth. I’ve come to the conclusion she must be a quicker learner than I am.

As I reflect on the past several years, I would have to say my focus words extend well beyond a single year. For the past couple of years (at least), my focus word has been “presence” – and the challenge to know presence has been front and center in every area of my life.

I have been challenged to recognize and revel in God’s Presence in my life and to learn to bring my whole self present before Him.

I have been learning what it means to be present with myself and to be able to fully live in the presence of my true self.

I am growing in my own ability to be present with others and to not lose my own presence in the exchange.

It has taken a few years, but I am beginning to feel securely rooted in the fertile soil of presence. This is where the friendships, networks, and finding boundaries comes into play. One of the areas of desired growth identified through my Practicum* facilitator is for me to learn more about my self as a separate, unique person. Perhaps you are wondering why on earth I would need to “learn” that. Well, the truth is, I am a very social, other-focused, community-oriented, “we” kind of girl. I didn’t realize it till recently, but it has been very difficult for me to define myself apart from the significant people in my life.

Did you know, it is very difficult to be fully present anywhere with anyone if you are scattered far and wide because your identity is so wrapped up in being identified with others? Go figure! I think I may actually be onto something here!

This growing understanding is a process. I am grateful to be in process. And I am excited to see what happens as I continue to be in the process of greater application of becoming more fully ME!
…To be ME in friendships… present and active and free to let us each express the unique nature and characteristics God created us to display to the world around us.
…To be ME in the networks of my life… social, professional, spiritual, personal – confident that I am uniquely equipped to both offer and receive life without losing myself or requiring anyone else to provide my motivation.
…To be ME within the boundaries of who God created me to be, and to be able to fully claim the wonders of my inheritance** and everything that comes with it!

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
…Psalm 16:6 ESV

And so, as the year 2011 draws to a close, I am grateful to be able to reflect back and see my own personal growth in PRESENCE. I am looking forward to discovering the fruit that will come as a result of God’s amazing and gracious husbandry in my life. I have been pruned, watered, had my soil turned over and weeded and plowed where necessary. His tender, loving care will produce fruit; it is His promise to each of us.

I hope your 2011 has been one of a deeper sense of His Presence in every detail. And here’s to 2012 – a year of UNITY.

*Practicum is one of my classes at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Best described as a practical learning of what it means to be present with others, designed with counseling in mind, for both psychological and spiritual counseling.
**I am thinking in particular of inheritance in the same context that Beth Moore presents in her study, “The Inheritance” – which I highly recommend!

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On the education front,
I have now progressed through the
“Dan Allender” classes… and their associated papers…
Faith, Hope, and Love … The Personal Tragedy Paper
Marriage and Family … The Family of Origin Paper
Sexual Disorders … The Sexual Development Paper
all designed to invite us to venture further into our stories
into the myriad of happenings and experiences that have
influenced and sculpted
the stuff we are made of
all that makes us unique and quirky and vulnerable and closed off.
The exploration has been difficult …
like moving through quicksand …
that has been laced with time-bombs …
and amazing delicacies that startle the senses.

And, at the same time,
my spirit has been stirred with vision and purpose
dare I even say it…
with HOPE
as the Spirit has continued to reveal sought after depths of wisdom,
defining His calling, His message, the good works He has prepared
for me to do -
just because I am called according to His purposes
in Christ Jesus!

And wouldn’t you just know it….
it seems to be
that the wrestling I am doing in “school“
and the heart of the message that He is opening my eyes to see and know
are              on           collision
surely              a                    cOurSe.

A heart that is wrecked
but wrecked for good
shattered and broken
like BREAD
and a life that is trampled
crushed under foot and ready to be poured out
at the foot of the Cross
WINE for the weary and downtrodden
an offering of praise and worship
and the sheer JoY of obedience and surrender
to the KING OF KINGS, the WONDERFUL COUNSELOR, the SEARCHING FATHER!

I am found
and still waiting
with eyes wide open
to SEE
what wonders HE will accomplish
as ALL my worlds collide

I am expectant
breathless
and yet
filled with the
Breath        of        Life 

I am blessed, beloved, beholding!

I am the daughter of His amazing grace.

Until this week, when I was out with a dear friend running errands and squeezing in a little time to check out a new thrift store in town. I couldn’t believe my eyes! There it was, still in it’s original box, all the parts, even the user’s manual with directions and recipes! And I was thrilled when I discovered the price – definitely in the realm of just doing it!

My kids have heard so many stories of how my cousins and I would line up and take turns to crank the handle as long as we could hold out, mouths watering in anticipation of the fresh, cold, yummy, tasty ice cream that would soon be frozen enough to eat. I remember so many family gatherings that included homemade ice cream – several families bringing the fixings for their own family favorite flavor! Peach. Strawberry. Vanilla.

Tonight, the boys and I inaugurated our new “old fashioned” ice cream maker and made mint chocolate chip ice cream. Oh so yummy!

Thought you might enjoy a few pictures…