It’s getting late, so I will keep tonight’s writings short. As I have been processing and praying for insight into what is going on inside me, the Holy Spirit has been faithful to answer. I have been discouraged, but discouragement is only a symptom. The root is the fact that I am grieving – deeply. I knew I was grieving – but I thought things were “under control” and “getting better”.
I somehow forgot the fact that grieving is a process – one that often goes for an extended period of time. This is especially true when the source of the grief is ongoing – which it is for me right now.
So, the cycles go on – sorrow, anger, guilt, sorrow, acceptance, anger, sorrow… you get it. What drives me the most crazy is how random the stages are – they often hit without warning, with no apparent reason, and leave me feeling totally out of control.
And then, I am fine, completely at peace and excited about what God is doing in my life. Amazed at His leading and His faithfulness and especially at His provision.
I choose to believe God. No matter how I feel or where I am in the process. I choose to believe Him and run to Him and trust Him completely – IN the midst of heartache and the pain and the joy.

Okay, time’s up and I’m heading to bed. The fatigue is greater than the will to write. I’ll share more later.
Thanks again for popping in!

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