Sometimes, even on bright, beautiful days like today, life feels more like raindrops.

Strangely enough, music is not what I turn to for cheering up. I am not much for a lot of background noise. I rarely have the radio on when I’m driving. I don’t like t.v. and certainly don’t have it on just to have it on.

When I am feeling down for whatever reason (like now with how easily I tire) I must find different ways to cheer up. Usually it has to do with spending time with special others – my family and friends whom I love. Sometimes I need to stop and rest and give my body a chance to rejuvenate.

Most often, I need to be in prayer – spending time alone with my Papi and hearing His voice and curling up in His lap and hearing His heartbeat. So why is that so difficult? Why do I find a million other things that need to be done first and waste precious time that could be spent getting the real rejuvenation I so desperately need?

Why? I know it’s what I need to do. But it is the one thing I run away from. I think mostly I am running away from myself and facing the tidal wave of pain that I fear will drown me.

Even though I know God to be far more faithful than that. Still I hesitate.

I wonder what tomorrow will look like. Oh, how I look forward to worshiping with my sisters and brothers. And the freshness of a new day.