Sunrises here in the northwest corner of the US have been stunningly beautiful for what seems like forever. We have had an unusually mild winter while much of the country has seen record cold and snowfall and winter storms upon winter storms. It works that way when the jet stream bends in strange ways as it has this year.
But this morning, I awoke to grayness, the sound of tires traveling on a wet road, no hint of color as the barren light began to try to leak through the clouds – not the lovely mysterious fog of the past few mornings. To my surprise, the grayness actually invited me to look elsewhere, to see what I had failed to truly see because my focus had been solely on the grandeur of the dancing sky. I was invited to see the awakening spring, the life that was there, had been there, but I had overlooked because I was focused beyond the ordinary, the here and now of the unwanted “ordinary” of this resurrected quince (a story for another time, perhaps).
I am a counselor. Professionally and personally. A healer of hearts and souls and spirits and sometimes, even of the body. I desire my own healing. I desire healing in my family ~ my children, my siblings, my parents, my extended family – both by blood and by choice. It is difficult to watch as we, yes we, struggle and make choices that keep us in unhealthy states.
I hear and hold a great deal of pain with those I serve. It is painful, glorious work. I LOVE what I do. And I struggle with what I do.
In the grayness of this morning, I journaled – not of the beauty of the sunrise, thanks to the invitation of the rain – but of the cry of my heart in the midst of my own wrestling with life and in the midst of wrestling on behalf of those I love. I share my musings with you in the hope that it touches you right where you are, stirs your heart to see in a different light, to find yourself in awe of the ordinary, of the truth of incarnation.
I can’t make anyone BE ready to DO what they need to do — and You won’t, Lord, because You are not into control.
You are into wooing and pursuing and grace and unending sacrificial love that is willing to endure the pain and the loss and the suffering involved with being fully identified WITH and IN our humanity. You are not high and mighty, standing above us, detached from our earthly reality ~ You are always right here with us. Jesus isn’t called Emmanuel for some isolated event in history that was outside Your normal character or nature ~ You ARE ~ always have been, always are, always will be ~ GOD WITH US!
You are God with me!!!
With the homeless person on the street, with the beggar on the corner in Calcutta, with the murderous gang member in the rubble of the inner city, with the jihadist planning the next vengeful attack on the ‘infidels’ he has been taught to loathe, with the Wall Street tycoon scheming the next corporate takeover, with the royals locked away in their prisons of social propriety and the need to fulfill all that is expected of their position, with the newborn baby addicted to all manner of illicit drugs and the mother who just gave birth and is completely detached and the father who just not there.
You are God with us. Always. Throughout time, before time, after time. You ARE God with us. That is – IS – the Good News!
YOU. ARE. WITH. US. in our suffering. not detached from us. not lording it over us, waiting for us to crack. WITH US.
RIGHT HERE.RIGHT NOW.
IN. IN. IN.
every detail of our lives.
I will, I need to, say it again and again ~
IN EVERY detail of my life!!!
Dayenu!!! It IS enough!
It is enough. We are not alone or abandoned. Ever.
I wonder what you do with these thoughts, with the mystery of God With Us. I leave you with this prayer…
Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” – Rilke, “Letters to a Young Poet