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Today is a day of convergence.

I have been wrestling with many things… heartbreak, doubt, age, fear, significance, friendship, love, purpose, family, loss, faith, passions, courage… for some time now.

Wrestling to discover, to intimately know, to enter my own lost dreams and hopes, to emerge from heartbreak with my self whole and healed, filled with renewing life.

I have been wrestling
with ideas about      time     and commitment      and passion         and dedication
juxtaposed
with ideas about    eternity   and spontaneity    and contentment    and surrender.

Paradox.

Tension.

Health.

Wholeness.

Desire.

Fullness of LIFE.

I want to FEEL, without the nagging numbness that comes from doubt and fear and loneliness and discouragement.

I want to be CONSISTENTLY ATTUNED to LIFE.

I remember when…
…I was filled with energy and zest and hope and faith — a life focused on the demands of the here and now of a house full of small children and activities and ministry and others.
And the also true in those memories is the accompanying reality of denial of my self and distance from others and the despair of not living fully present in any moment.

As I have been facing the darkness within and the darkness without, I sometimes feel like I am sinking, like I just. want. to. give. up.
And then a voice, that voice, speaks clearly in my heart… Do not grow weary in well-doing.
Am I doing well? Is this path of soul-searching and stretching and challenging truly a path of well-ness?

I think so.
I hope so.
I do believe it is.
It is also hard. difficult. painful. discouraging.

It is a battle.

Today is a day of convergence. An invitation.

And today, I was reminded of the difficulty of battle. (Thanks, Gary Wilkerson.)

Nehemiah responded to his enemies, “I don’t have time to discuss what I’m doing; I’m too busy doing it” (see Nehemiah 6:1-9).
The Bible says that Gideon and his 300 men “. . . came to the Jordan and crossed over . . . exhausted yet pursuing” (Judges 8:4).
Gideon chose to get back into warfare with the enemy. He crossed over to the other side of the river and got back into the battle God had called him to fight. When you live out the mission that God has called you to; when you are not discouraged and dissuaded by what others say about you; when it is your holy ambition to do what God has called you to do—that becomes your victory.

Stay focused on your battle, stay focused on your calling, and God will give you the victory!

Invited to enter and engage. anyway. at all cost.

Today is a day of convergence. Sacred echoes beckon me to listen.

The verse of the day I received this morning… (Thanks, eBible.)

And the Lord said to Paul one night in a vision, “Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you…”

Invited to listen. to speak out what I hear. to live with courage and with presence.

Today is a day of convergence. Sacred echoes beckon me to hope.

A reminder for New Dreams for a New Year. (Thanks, Amy Carroll and Proverbs 31 Ministries.)

God is not only the weaver of dreams, but He answers them as well. God has limitless creativity, and His creation longs for the opportunity to create and build and produce things of value. He is the one who plants dreams in our heart to be held until the time is right to bring them to life.

I encourage you today to take out your dreams, resuscitate them if necessary and examine them. There may be childhood dreams that need to be allowed to slip away, like balloons gently released into the sky. But what about the others?

Are there any buried dreams that need to be dusted off, held in your hands and offered back to God? He’s the one who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine with the ideas He’s given. Offer those dreams a new start in this New Year.

Invited to awaken. to allow my dreams to live. to receive the breath of hope renewed.

Is it time for me to begin again? To start over, renewed and strengthened? Can I step into hope? Even in the midst of discouragement and doubt?

And so I choose. To start over. By faith. One day at a time. Make that one moment at a time.

Can you relate? Anyone out there want to join me in claiming this moment… time to start over?

“When you live out the mission that God has called you to; when you are not discouraged and dissuaded by what others say about you; when it is your holy ambition to do what God has called you to do—that becomes your victory.”
-Gary Wilkerson

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