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faith, growth, healing, humanity, mercy, postaday2011, presence, redemption, understanding
The ART of Finding God in THIS Cloud – Intro
Warning! Not for the faint of heart!
Over the next little while, I will be processing what it means for me to find God in the midst of the cloud that overshadows this day, this time, of my life.
The declaration of my husband that he has decided to seek a divorce, threatens to plunge me into the dreaded “Double-D” club – twice divorced. This despite a vow uttered early in my life – in my innocence and naivety – that I would never even enter the “Single-D” club.
If you choose to join me in my journey through this series, I will be exploring how I can find Jesus in the midst of my pain and sorrow and ambiguity – in order to more fully understand the Presence of God in my brokenness and imperfect humanity. I intend to be honest and raw with my processing – for I believe that is where I will find the Presence of God.
I welcome feedback. I welcome challenges to my thinking. I welcome perspectives that sharpen my ability to be real and honest and which invite me to venture outside the box of my current understanding. Perhaps, through this processing adventure, I can do the same for you. That is my hope.
Wondering what I mean by cloud? Check out the July 29th entry in Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest:
WHAT DO YOU SEE IN YOUR CLOUDS?
“Behold, He cometh with clouds.” Revelation 1:7
In the Bible clouds are always connected with God. Clouds are those sorrows or sufferings or providences, within or without our personal lives, which seem to dispute the rule of God. It is by those very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith. If there were no clouds, we should have no faith. “The clouds are but the dust of our Father’s feet.” The clouds are a sign that He is there. What a revelation it is to know that sorrow and bereavement and suffering are the clouds that come along with God! God cannot come near without clouds, He does not come in clear shining.
It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials: through every cloud He brings, He wants us to – unlearn – something. His purpose in the cloud is to simplify our belief until our relationship to Him is exactly that of a child – God and my own soul, other people are shadows. Until other people become shadows, clouds and darkness will be mine every now and again. Is the relationship between myself and God getting simpler than ever it has been?
There is a connection between the strange providences of God and what we know of Him, and we have to learn to interpret the mysteries of life in the light of our knowledge of God. Unless we can look the darkest, blackest fact full in the face without damaging God’s character, we do not yet know Him.
“They feared as they entered the cloud . . .” – Is there anyone “save Jesus only” in your cloud? If so, it will get darker; you must get to the place where there is “no one any more save Jesus only.”
“No one any more save Jesus only!” That is the plea of my heart!
How about you? Who do you see in your cloud?
This Perfect World 
I’m so sorry you are going through this, Lauree. You are such a GOOD woman, you don’t deserve these trials. Alas, we find ourselves in the midst of them at times. You have so much love, you should have a godly man to share that with. I have alot of love as well.
My trials are my miscarriages. It’s something others don’t understand, “you have more kids than average…give up already.” But God teaches me so much through it, and I’m not afraid to love, so I have to be willing to lose. You love someone, you have a wedding, there is always the chance of losing the marriage. You have love to give, you get pregnant, there is the chance of losing the baby. But loving a man and loving children are in and of themselves gifts from God and the way we are designed by our very creative Father.
When I still sense my family is not complete, I will not give up on holding that little one that is still missing in my family. It’s a God thing. You just know it in your bones. No one can know that for you. In fact, they will think you are certifiably insane. But that’s OK. That’s what they said about Noah. That’s what they said about Moses. That’s what they said about my Jesus. So I think I’ll stick to walking in the truth and purpose that God has given me. It is cloudy at times, but as the song says, “sometimes He comes in the clouds…”
Hang in there, Lauree…the rainbow is in there…so are His promises to you….
Thank you, Shellee! As I was reminded by dear friends, while I may not have ever seen it coming, this has not caught God by surprise. It’s not about what I do or do not deserve, but what I choose to do with the results of the brokenness of our humanity. And so, I choose faith, I choose hope, I choose to walk in His love. I know Who holds my future and He holds my heart securely in His provision and care as well. Even so, it does not make the grieving any less real. His promises remain true, even in the sorrow.
My prayers are with you…my heart goes out to you.
Thank you, LeRoy Dean. Empathy is a gift.